Dial-Tone, you'd better hide that Devilfish before they discover us.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMPUTER ROOM
SERPENTOR
Report, Dr. Mindbender.
DR. MINDBENDER
We may have the Voltronic Galaxador's polarity problem licked, O great Serpentor.
SERPENTOR
May have it licked? When Serpentor demands results, Serpentor gets results! This I command!
DR. MINDBENDER
Yes. Serpentor. Please observe as we conduct our next test. Our target, three feet of molybdenum armor steel. When the Voltronic Galaxador beam strikes the steel, it will reverse the structural polarity, turning it into an antimatter bomb.
SERPENTOR
Yes, Yes. I read the technical reports. Proceed.
SERPENTOR
Your third failure, Dr. Mindbender!
EXT. COBRA ISLAND - NIGHT
DR. MINDBENDER (COMM.)
I can perfect the Voltronic Galaxador if Cobra can recruit Jeremy Penser....
INT. TERROR DROME - COMPUTER ROOM
DR. MINDBENDER
One of the greatest minds in quantum physics today. I am certain he'll willingly join Cobra if we promise to make him walk.
EXT. COBRA ISLAND - NIGHT
LOW-LIGHT
I thought I heard somethin'. I gotta check the perimeter.
DR. MINDBENDER (COMM.)
Penser will be at this weekend's World Science Fiction Convention.
COBRA
Hey, what are you doin' there?
DIAL-TONE
Oh, what'd you do that for?
LOW-LIGHT
Trubble Bubbles!
DIAL-TONE
We're sure attracting a lot of attention.
LOW-LIGHT
Head for the beach!
LOW-LIGHT
Jump! Yo Joe!
MOTOR VIPER
They're done for! Move out!
DIAL-TONE
Good thing the decoy Devilfish fooled 'em.
LOW-LIGHT
Yeah. Better stop gassin' and move it.
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - DAY
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - HAWK'S OFFICE
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Hey, Hawk. Low-Light and Dial-Tone tell me you've got a lead on Dr. Mindbender.
HAWK
That's right, Sgt. Slaughter.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
I owe that slimeball a bust in the chops for the last time we met.
HAWK
He's gonna try recruiting Jeremy Penser, a brilliant young scientist in the field of physics.
DR. MINDBENDER (TAPE)
Penser will be at this weekend's World Science Fiction Convention.
HAWK
We want to save Penser and capture Dr. Mindbender, but we'll blow our chances if we show up in force.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Science fiction, huh? There's one Joe who can get real close to Penser with nobody noticin'.
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - SCI-FI'S QUARTERS
SGT. SLAUGHTER
All right, Sci-Fi. You and me are goin' to the World Science Fiction Convention.
SCI-FI
Uh-oh. Somethin' tells me this is gonna be a mite strenuous.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Sci-Fi, this is stupid. Your uniform makes us stick out like a sore thumb.
SCI-FI
Trust me, Sarge. Nobody will even notice. Nobody.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER
CONVENTION GOER #1
Where did you get your Fantastic Four number Twenty-eight?
CONVENTION GOER #2
I hear Dash Jordan is gonna lecture.
CONVENTION GOER #3
The sequel to Attack of the Turnips will be out next month!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Unbelievable! And I thought you were weird. Come on, let's locate Penser. He's in this mess somewhere.
"PENSER FAN"
But you know, I read all your books, Mr. Penser. You sure are bright!
DR. JEREMY PENSER [Neil Ross]
Timothy, you clumsy oaf!
TIMOTHY PENSER [Michael Horton]
Uh, yes, well...sorry, Jeremy. You see, I was goin' around to all the dealers' tables, and look what I got!
DR. PENSER
Drivel!
TIMOTHY
Uh, I understand, Jeremy. Can I get you something? I know. Let me push your chair, okay?
DR. PENSER
I don't want to be pushed, you dolt! Just keep the hoi polloi at arm's length! You can do that, can't you?
TIMOTHY
Oh, sure, Jeremy. I can do that. Uh, Jeremy, what's hoi polloi?
DR. PENSER
All of them!
ZARANA
Zarana to Dr. Mindbender, Jeremy Penser is at the exhibit. No bodyguards except his dumb, dumb kid brother and...blimey! Two Joes!
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - ROOF
DR. MINDBENDER
Joes? Distract them while I contact Penser.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER
SGT. SLAUGHTER
They let these bozos run around without any keepers?
"
Hey! Watch it!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Excuse me, ma'am. Oh, you dropped something. I'll get it for you.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Hey, this is autographed by Jeremy Penser! Where is he?
"
He's autographing his books in the main lobby, you clumsy boob!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Come on, let's go.
DR. MINDBENDER
Dr. Penser, Cobra needs you to perfect the Voltronic Galaxador.
DR. PENSER
Hmm. That would be an interesting challenge.
TIMOTHY
Wait, Jeremy. I don't like the looks of these guys. Let's tell 'em....
DR. PENSER
Go away, Timothy!
BUZZER
Yeah. Go read some funny books, mate.
TIMOTHY
I was only tryin' to help.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER - MAIN LOBBY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Penser's not here, Sci-Fi.
SCI-FI
We've been had, Sergant Slaughter.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER
DR. PENSER
Dr. Mindbender, I could perfect your Voltronic Galaxador, if I wished to. But I don't wish to.
DR. MINDBENDER
Why squander your talents working for inferiors? Join Cobra and be among the masters.
DR. PENSER
Sorry, not interested!
DR. MINDBENDER
Are you interested in walking?
DR. PENSER
How would you do that?
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Gang way!
DR. MINDBENDER
We have ways to make you walk. You'll stand tall. People will stop looking down on you. You'll be free, Dr. Penser. Yes, perfect the Voltronic Galaxador for Cobra, Dr. Penser, and the world will be at your feet.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Sci-Fi, I'll get their attention. You get Penser. Yo Joe!
CONVENTION GOER #4
What's goin' on?
CONVENTION GOER #5
Oh, just another bunch of costumed fans putting on a show.
CONVENTION GOER #4
Ooh. Looks gruesome.
CONVENTION GOER #5
Nah, it's all rehearsed.
BUZZER
Come on!
SCI-FI
Charming folks, Dreadnoks.
DR. PENSER
Huh? Who are you?
SCI-FI
Name's Sci-Fi. I wanna talk to you.
ZARANA
Come in, Thrasher! The Dreadnoks need help! Big help!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
What the...
THRASHER
Let's see how tough you stand against steel!
SCI-FI
Excuse me!
SCI-FI
I sure hope this works.
SCI-FI
Help comin', Sarge!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
What's it gonna be, boys?
CONVENTION GOER #4
They are good!
CONVENTION GOER #5
The demonstration at last year's convention was much more realistic.
SCI-FI
Sarge!
RIPPER
Spread out!
CONVENTION GOER #4
Impressive light show!
MONKEYWRENCH
We'd best get out, Dr. Mindbender! These blokes may have reinforcements!
DR. MINDBENDER
Keep them down a few minutes longer!
DR. MINDBENDER
Penser, it's now or never! Do you want to walk or not?
DR. PENSER
All right. Count me in.
THRASHER
Blasted junk! This'll fix you!
DR. PENSER
Careful, you clumsy oafs!
MONKEYWRENCH
Shuddap!
TIMOTHY
Hey! You let my brother go!
TIMOTHY
I'll save you, Jeremy!
DR. PENSER
Timothy, no!
BUZZER
Toodleoo, kid!
DR. MINDBENDER
Let's go, Thrasher!
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER
SCI-FI
They got away!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Not quite. I planted a tracking device on 'em. We'll find 'em.
TIMOTHY
I wanna go, too! They got my brother! He needs me.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
You stay here. This is no mission for a civilian.
POLICE CHIEF
All right, hold everything! Stay right where you are!
POLICE CHIEF
Okay, hands up, you two! You're under arrest for malicious vandalism! Climb down from there.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Excuse me, officers, but we're on an urgent mission.
POLICE CHIEF
Yeah, sure. Everyone's on an urgent mission. All right, let's see some ID.
POLICE CHIEF
Come on, we haven't got all day.
POLICE CHIEF
What's that?
SCI-FI
Hey, we got a runaway HAVOC!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
What are we waitin' for? Let's go!
POLICE CHIEF
Hey, come back here!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Sorry! No time to explain!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Stop this HAVOC, whoever you are!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Why....
TIMOTHY
Hiya.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
You! What are you doing here?
TIMOTHY
Tr...trying to help my brother. When the police surrounded you, I snuck into the controls and, well, here we are.
SCI-FI
Sarge, might as well take him along. Maybe he can get Penser to come back.
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - ENTRANCE
DR. PENSER
Be careful, you idiots!
DR. MINDBENDER
Welcome to my humble abode, Dr. Penser. Anything we can do to make your stay a pleasant one?
DR. PENSER
The operation to restore my legs.
DR. MINDBENDER
Will begin after the Voltronic Galaxador is completed. It must be ready for Cobra's new fall offensive.
DR. PENSER
Very well. Let's get started.
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
DR. MINDBENDER
Well, Penser, what do you think of our latest masterpiece?
DR. PENSER
Masterpiece? At this setting, the modulation will always cause it to self-destruct! What moron designed this?
DR. MINDBENDER
Moron? Um, never mind that. Can you fix it?
DR. PENSER
Can I fix it? My brother could fix it!
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
So this is Dr. Mindbender's secret weapons lab.
SCI-FI
They're jammin' our radio. Can't call Headquarters for help.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
I don't need any help to clean Mindbender's clock.
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
TIMOTHY
Jeremy!
DR. PENSER
Timothy!
TIMOTHY
We're gonna rescue you!
DR. PENSER
Rescue me? From what? A lifetime confined to this blasted wheelchair?
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Cobra's just using you, Penser!
SCI-FI
Come on back. With us.
DR. PENSER
Can G. I. Joe promise to make me walk?
SCI-FI
Uh...no.
DR. PENSER
Then you have nothing to offer me. Leave, before I call the guards!
TIMOTHY
I'm your brother, Jeremy!
DR. PENSER
Take your new friends and go!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Here's somethin' else. You'd sell millions down the river just so you could walk. Well, we'll go, but you're goin' with us.
DR. PENSER
Leave, Timothy, before they catch you!
DREADNOKS
Cobra!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Chew on this, dog breath!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Come on!
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - CORRIDOR
DR. MINDBENDER
Going so soon, Sergeant Slaughter?
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Mindbender. I ain't forgettin' what you did to me. But I ain't got a lotta time right now!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
This will have to do until I can come back and settle the score!
DR. MINDBENDER
Stop them!
ZARANA
You're the doctor.
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Cover me, Sci-Fi!
ZARANA
Ooh. Not bad shootin', mate. Guess I need a different approach.
TIMOTHY
She's headin' straight for us!
ZARANA
Those three bloody dingos are trapped in the target area, Dr. Mindbender.
DR. MINDBENDER
Excellent. We'll test both the Voltronic Galaxador and Dr. Penser. If he can really go through with it, he's fit Cobra material.
ZARANA
And if the little twit can't?
DR. MINDBENDER
Dispose of him, Zarana. Immediately.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
We'd better get moving!
TIMOTHY
But...but we can't just leave Jeremy.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
I don't intend to. We'll find your brother. Now let's get goin'.
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
DR. MINDBENDER
Ah, very good. Proceed with the test, Dr. Penser.
DR. PENSER
But my brother is out there!
DR. MINDBENDER
You yourself said he was an inferior! Cobra has no use for him--or for emotional weakness, Dr. Penser!
DR. PENSER
I...I understand, Dr. Mindbender.
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Hit the dirt!
SCI-FI
The Voltronic Galaxador!
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
DR. MINDBENDER
Fire for effect! Why are you dawdling?
DR. PENSER
I'm...trying!
DR. MINDBENDER
Destroy them!
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Now!
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
DR. PENSER
No! I won't do it!
DR. MINDBENDER
Then I'll do it myself!
DR. MINDBENDER
Saboteur! You started an overload! Do you think that moronic brother of yours is more important than your legs?
DR. MINDBENDER
Move, you mangy mutts! To the Swampfires!
DR. MINDBENDER
Attack!
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Outgunned, outmanned... I love it!
TIMOTHY
W-what do I do with this?
SCI-FI
Get rid of it!
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Go get Jeremy! I'll handle these bozos!
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
DR. MINDBENDER
You'll spend the rest of your life regretting your rash action, Dr. Penser. You have less than five minutes.
DR. PENSER
No!
TIMOTHY
Up there!
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
INT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - LAB
DR. PENSER
Timothy!
TIMOTHY
Yep, it's me. Let's go.
EXT. MINDBENDER'S HIDEOUT - DAY
DR. PENSER
Consider yourself flattered, Timothy. I gave up the Voltronic Galaxador just for you.
SGT. SLAUGHTER
Well, you're a grateful cuss.
TIMOTHY
That's okay, Sergeant Slaughter. He's always like that, especially when he's tryin' to say thanks.
