Attention all pilots! Attention all pilots! In-flight refueling coordinates have been sent to your Conquests. Good luck, and good hunting.
INT. USS FLAGG
SCARLETT
It's sixteen fifty-three by my watch, Slip-Stream.
SLIP-STREAM
Okay. The videotape machine's set.
FLINT
It's showtime. Come on, you guys. Let's get up on the flight deck.
SLIP-STREAM
Just makin' sure we record Lady Jaye's evening debut for posterity, Flint.
FLINT
Yeah.
LIFT-TICKET
You're just sore because....
LIFELINE
Stow it, Lift-Ticket. It's Flint's personal business.
SCARLETT
Let's do it!
LIFELINE AND SLIP-STREAM
Yo Joe!
EXT. USS FLAGG - DECK
EXT. BERING SEA - DAY
FLINT
This is Rescue One to Beach Head. Our ETA is fifteen minutes.
BEACH HEAD (COMM.)
I copy, Flint.
EXT. ISLAND - DAY
FRANK SULLIVAN
They've got us zeroed in!
MAJ. RON MICHAELS [Neil Ross]
No, they're just fishin'! Look! See, they're leavin'.
MICHAELS
They don't know we're here. They decided to give the island a plastering just to make sure.
SULLIVAN
They shot our plane down, and they want us dead.
MICHAELS
Looks like they sure don't want us to tell our version of what happened.
INT. USS FLAGG
HECTOR RAMIREZ (V.O.)
This is the actual footage of yesterday's crash of an AR-90A Ghost, one of America's two prototype Ghost bombers, somewhere in the Aleutian Islands. Before ejecting, the pilots, Frank Sullivan and Ron Michaels, reported being attacked by an unidentified aircraft.
RAMIREZ (V.O.)
Who were the attackers and what was their motive? The Ghost's flight recorder has yet to be found. But this expert thinks she can prove that it was the international terrorist group, Cobra. She's Lady Jaye, one of the world's foremost intelligence experts, and a member of the G. I. Joe strike force.
RAMIREZ
Hello, I'm Hector Ramirez, your host of Twenty Questions. Cobra has officially denied any part in the destruction of the Ghost prototype. And, since Twenty Questions always brings you both sides of the issues, tonight, in a special broadcast, our in-studio guests will be Lady Jaye and commander of the G. I. Joe strike force, General Hawk.
RAMIREZ (V.O.)
And, live via Cobra satellite from their secret base, an exclusive interview with Cobra Commander, Serpentor, and Dr. Mindbender.
RAMIREZ
Welcome to Twenty Questions, General Hawk and Lady Jaye. Tell us, why is the Ghost such a valuable target?
HAWK
Hector, the Ghost is a prototype experimental reconnaissance aircraft.
LADY JAYE (V.O.)
By the end of the decade, twenty of them will guard our skies at all times. The Ghost earns its name because its profile is so low, it appears only as a radar ghost to the enemy. This aircraft's surveillance system can cover two hundred thousand square miles per hour at ninety-three thousand feet. The Ghost is capable of speeds of Mach four.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
RAMIREZ
With those characteristics, it's easy to see why Cobra would want to destroy the prototypes.
COBRA COMMANDER
We are tired of these constant accusations by G. I. Joe! This is an insult! We have absolutely no interest in an aircraft we regard as inferior to our Night Ravens! When the truth is known, we will make you eat your words.
RAMIREZ
In all fairness, General Hawk, since the Ghost cameras were destroyed in the crash, there's no filmed evidence of the attack, or even that it really occurred.
EXT. BERING SEA - FLASHBACK
LADY JAYE (V.O.)
Hold on, Ramirez! There's plenty of evidence. The Ghost was on a combined shakedown/recon flight.
MICHAELS (COMM.)
Ghost here. I've found something odd. A military base of some sort.
INT. USS FLAGG - FLASHBACK
MICHAEL (COMM.)
Uh-oh. I've got a contact. Four targets closing at thirteen hundred knots.
FLINT
This doesn't sound good.
LADY JAYE
Ghost in trouble! Scramble the Conquests!
EXT. USS FLAGG - FLASHBACK
LADY JAYE
Flint, something's happened to Ron!
FLINT
Ron? You mean Major Michaels?
LADY JAYE
Give me a break, Flint. Ron and I went to flight school together.
FLINT
Yeah, yeah. I know. "We're just good friends."
EXT. BERING SEA - FLASHBACK
LADY JAYE (V.O.)
When we got there, the Ghost was already breaking up. I saw a flight of Cobra Night Ravens. Then Sullivan and Michaels ejected.
LADY JAYE (V.O.)
The cloud cover was so heavy, we had a hard time keeping track of them. We went looking for Sullivan and Michaels.
LADY JAYE
I just hope Cobra doesn't find them first.
INT. COBRA MANTA SUB
EEL
Sir, we checked this island already!
SUB COMMANDER
Do you want to tell Serpentor we didn't find them?
EEL
Uh, no, sir.
SUB COMMANDER
Then shut up! Ah, they're here.
SUB COMMANDER
Rig the megawarheads. This time we'll make sure no living thing remains on that dirtball!
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - SUNSET
FLINT
Let's fly low along the chain of eastern islands this time, Lift-Ticket. Maybe we can pick up a signal.
LIFT-TICKET
Roger, Flint.
BEACH HEAD
Come on, come on! Let's hear some beepin'!
INT. COBRA MANTA SUB
EEL
Captain, megawarheads in place.
SUB COMMANDER
Excellent. All right, prepare to...
SUB COMMANDER
Joe Tomahawk! Dive! Dive!
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - SUNSET
FLINT
There! Cobra Manta sub! They must be looking for Sullivan and Michaels too.
LIFT-TICKET
Not for long, Flint! All depth charges away!
EXT. BERING SEA - UNDERWATER
INT. COBRA MANTA SUB
SUB COMMANDER
No! The missile launching hatch is jammed! We can't fire!
EXT. BERING SEA - UNDERWATER
INT. COBRA MANTA SUB
SUB COMMANDER
Dive deeper! We must elude the Joes!
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - SUNSET
FLINT
I don't know why they were here, but we apparently drove 'em off.
FLINT
Okay, Lift-Ticket. Let's look for Sullivan and Michaels.
EXT. ISLAND - SUNSET
SULLIVAN
Come back! Come back!
MICHAELS
Hey, we're down here!
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
HECTOR RAMIREZ
Cobra Commander, perhaps you could give us a little background information on your organization.
COBRA COMMANDER
It is an honor to be here to present our side of this dispute. G. I. Joe has a history of accusing Cobra of every crime in the book.
SERPENTOR
Red Viper Flight will soon be airborne. I want confirmation on that sub's sighting.
DR. MINDBENDER
So far, our "rescue teams" have found no trace of them. It's unfortunate for those men, because they are in serious danger of perishing from the cold.
SERPENTOR
There's one Ghost prototype still in existence!
DR. MINDBENDER
Next time I'll clone him with a sense of humor.
SERPENTOR
Now we'd better get back to the show. Even a fool like Cobra Commander can't keep talking forever.
RAMIREZ
Cobra Commander has accused of lying about the destruction of the Ghost prototype. Do you have any comment?
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - FLASHBACK
SERPENTOR (V.O.)
Let me tell you what actually happened. One of our flights of Night Ravens was on a routine patrol mission. Blue Viper One reported sighting a Ghost losing altitude.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
And there were some other aircraft in the area. We couldn't identify them.
SERPENTOR
Shut up, Cobra Commander.
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - FLASHBACK
DR. MINDBENDER (V.O.)
Our concern was naturally for the crew of the disabled aircraft.
SERPENTOR (V.O.)
Suddenly without warning, our Strato-Vipers were attacked by a squadron of G. I. Joe Conquest fighters.
COBRA COMMANDER (V.O.)
Uh, the Night Ravens were low on fuel and chose not to engage the Conquests.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
DR. MINDBENDER
Uh, yes. We regretted having to abandon the airmen in their time of greatest need.
DR. MINDBENDER
The Cobra organization is not without humane feelings in these matters.
TELE-VIPER
Shh!
SERPENTOR
As to Lady Jaye's flagrant accusations, why would we want to shoot down a plane not engaged in an act of war against us?
DR. MINDBENDER
That kind of aggression is only worthy of a warmongering superpower...or G. I. Joe.
RAMIREZ
Some might say Cobra tends to initiate conflict.
COBRA COMMANDER
Poppycock! What gives you that silly idea?
RAMIREZ
Well let's see. There was your invasion of Washington, D.C., the giant mechanical sea serpent you released on New York, the time you melted the polar ice caps....
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - DUSK
RED VIPER 1
We're over the island! Drones away!
EXT. ISLAND - DUSK
SULLIVAN
Cobra Night Raven drones.
MICHAELS
Uh-oh. This doesn't look good.
SULLIVAN
Battle Android Troopers!
MICHAELS
It's lookin' even worse. Let's beat feet!
SULLIVAN
Sure, but where to?
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - DUSK
LIFT-TICKET
Flint, aren't you overdoin' it with the jealousy bit? Just 'cause some guy's friendly with Lady Jaye doesn't mean there's anythin' goin' on.
FLINT
I know what I saw.
EXT. AIR BASE - FLASHBACK
FLINT
Hi. Just dropped by to see Lady Jaye.
MP
Uh, is Lady Jaye expecting you, Flint?
FLINT
No. Just thought I'd surprise her.
MP
Oh. Well, uh, I, uh, I guess it's okay.
INT. AIR BASE - FLASHBACK
LADY JAYE
Now come on, get serious, Ron.
MICHAELS
I'm always serious when I invite a lady to my place, Lady Jaye. Be sure to wear something casual.
FLINT
Wear something casual, huh? That does it!
MICHAELS
I'm inviting a bunch of my friends over. Say you'll help, okay?
LADY JAYE
Okay, okay. Though I haven't been to a wallpapering party since I was in college.
EXT. AIR BASE - FLASHBACK
MP
What the...! Uh-oh.
EXT. ALEUTIAN ISLANDS - DUSK
LIFELINE
Well, I know how Lady Jaye feels, Flint. I'm sure whatever it was you saw wasn't what you thought you saw.
BEACH HEAD
Hey, I'm pickin' up some radio signals.
FLINT
Huh? Oh, uh, Michaels and Sullivan?
BEACH HEAD
Nope. Cobra. Soundss like they've let loose a squad of BATs on that island back where the sub was lurkin'.
LIFT-TICKET
Then that Cobra sub did have a reason to be there.
FLINT
A reason called Michaels and Sullivan. Let's get back before the BATs find 'em. Yo Joe!
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
RAMIREZ
Then you attempted to destroy the world's currency, raided the Rocky Mountain Chemical Weapons Arsenal. You created that bogus heavy metal band Cold Slither, staged the Cobrathon, sank the USS Montana and the USS Flagg, and attempted to swindle Alaska away from the United States.
COBRA COMMANDER
Oh, picky, picky, picky.
DR. MINDBENDER
Bah! All exaggerations and minor incidents.
RAMIREZ
Watch it, Dr. Mindbender. Lying can be hazardous to your health.
SERPENTOR
You insignificant piece of shriveled-up shoe leather! How dare you accuse us of lying! I'll see you staked out on an African anthill at high noon! I'll...I'll...!
DR. MINDBENDER
I think you've made your point, O great Serpentor. We would never lie to the people of the world, especially not on Twenty Questions, our favorite show.
INT. TWENTY QUESTIONS STUDIO
RAMIREZ
Uh, thank you....
HAWK
This is ridiculous. I can give you chapter and verse on every Cobra attack, sabotage, bombing, covert operation--everything!
DR. MINDBENDER
So? What do you expect from the man who founded G. I. Joe and makes his living by attacking Cobra day and night.
HAWK
G. I. Joe wasn't necessary, Dr. Mindbender, until Cobra forced it into existence.
EXT. ISLAND - DUSK
MICHAELS
We're gonna lead a short but exciting life!
SULLIVAN
You okay?
MICHAELS
With a broken leg? Look, I'm a goner. You make a run for it. I'll hold 'em off.
SULLIVAN
No can do, partner. How you gonna pay me the fifty bucks you borrowed last pay day?
SULLIVAN
What the....
LIFELINE
Keep it down, Sullivan.
SULLIVAN
Uh-oh. Too late.
MICHAELS
I hope you're a good shot.
LIFELINE
Sorry. I'm a pacifist.
SULLIVAN
How'd we get so lucky?
BEACH HEAD, FLINT, AND LIFT-TICKET
Yo Joe!
BEACH HEAD
Well, Flint, so much for takin' 'em from behind!
FLINT
Keep me covered.
MICHAELS
Now there's somethin' you don't see every day.
MICHAELS
I won't lie to you, Michaels. It's broken. But I think you'll be back on your feet within three or four months.
LIFELINE
Oh, thanks, Lifeline. Now give me the bad news.
LIFT-TICKET
Let's load up and get off this rock.
FLINT
Listen, Michaels, we need to talk.
LIFELINE
Flint, give it a break! Michaels is in shock.
FLINT
Ah, okay. It'll keep 'til later.
EXT. OCEAN - DAY
DIAL-TONE (COMM.)
The search-and-rescue team has located Sullivan and Michaels. We're glad to report that they're in good shape.
LADY JAYE
That's our signal. We're out of the satellite linkup. Cockpit camera off. Looks like our ruse worked.
MAJOR EVANS
Targeting computer checks are complete. Let's get this bird up to speed!
LADY JAYE
With pleasure!
INT. USS FLAGG
RAMIREZ
Thanks, General Hawk. It's been great having you on the show. Well, ladies and gentlemen, you've heard both sides of the situation. Let me briefly review the facts for you in a taped replay.
EXT. BERING SEA - REPLAY
RAMIREZ (V.O.)
Lady Jaye claims Cobra is responsible for the crash of one prototype Ghost bomber. But Cobra flaty and unequivocally denies destroying the prototype.
INT. CARGO PLANE
RAMIREZ
We're just about out of time here on Twenty Questions, and perhaps we should show you what's been going on. We've been broadcasting live from inside this C-5A cargo plane. The opening of the show, where you saw me in the studio, was prerecorded.
EXT. CARGO PLANE
RAMIREZ (V.O.)
There it is, folks, a live shot of our C-5A mobile studio, from a camera mounted on one of our Conquest fighter escorts, and a shot from our own outboard camera on the Conquest camera plane.
LADY JAYE (COMM.)
We're coming up on the Conquests and the C-5A, Major. It's time to turn on the rear camera and make like a target.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
SERPENTOR
There it is! We've got it now!
EXT. CARGO PLANE
RAMIREZ (V.O.)
Ladies and gentlemen, this picture is coming to you live from the rear camera of the Ghost!
INT. TERROR DROME
COBRA COMMANDER
It's the Ghost! The one we've been looking for! We've been tricked! I must warn Serpentor.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
Serpentor! The Ghost is in flight!
SERPENTOR
Yes, Cobra Commander. We know. We have the situation well under control.
COBRA COMMANDER
No! You don't understand! What we thought we saw wasn't what we saw!
DR. MINDBENDER
Huh?
INT. CARGO PLANE
RAMIREZ
Ladies and gentlemen, we have just learned that a flight of four unidentified aircraft are closing in on the Ghost.
EXT. CARGO PLANE
RAMIREZ (V.O.)
Cobra Ravens! There you have it, folks. Twenty Questions brings you the answers.
INT. TERROR DROME - COMMAND CENTER
SERPENTOR
It would seem that the game is up, Dr. Mindbender. Your ruse has failed!
COBRA COMMANDER
They made fools of us all on national TV!
EXT. CARGO PLANE
SLIP-STREAM (COMM.)
Time to go to work! Yo Joe!
LADY JAYE (COMM.)
I have a sparrow in flight!
STRATO-VIPER
What?
SLIP-STREAM (COMM.)
Try this on for size, buddy! Go, baby, go!
DUKE (COMM.)
Good shot, Slip-Stream!
LADY JAYE (COMM.)
I'm not gonna let them have all the fun here!
LADY JAYE
Major Evans!
LADY JAYE
It feels like the Ghost's riding itself. Major?
LADY JAYE
Oh, swell. It's time to see if the voice-activated controls work.
LADY JAYE
Hello, Strato-Viper. Watch this!
LADY JAYE
Mach one, Mach two. These guys are surgically altered to withstand high G's, but he's got to have a limit!
LADY JAYE
Mach three point five...mach four! Got to decelerate!
LADY JAYE
Bad move, flyboy!
LADY JAYE
Happy landings, dingaling!
EXT. AIRBASE - NIGHT
Major Sullivan, could you give us a statement for next week's show?
SULLIVAN
Why sure. Be glad to talk to you.
FLINT
Excuse me, Lady Jaye. I've got something to settle with Major Michaels.
LADY JAYE
Flint?
FLINT
Major, I'd like a word with you about....
MICHAELS
Oh, so you're the Flint Lady Jaye's been tellin' me so much about.
FLINT
But....
MICHAELS
You're one lucky guy. This lady really loves you. Take care of yourself, Lady Jaye.
LADY JAYE
See you in the skies, Ron. Just what was it you were going to tell him, Flint?
FLINT
Nothing, Lady Jaye. What I thought I saw wasn't what I saw.
