As a matter of fact, did you notice what the cargo on this crate is? Trubble Bubbles!
QUICK KICK
Joe Headquarters! Let's move it!
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - DARKENED
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
GUNG-HO
Nuts! You can't run a twentieth-century HQ on first-century technology! This is hopeless! Without the juice it's no use. Huh?
COBRA COMMANDER
Citizens of earth, we have diminished the Pyramid's power enough to address you now.
GUNG-HO
Ah, stick your head in a bucket and rust your face off!
COBRA COMMANDER
And here to present our ultimatum, your new supreme leaders, the Crimson Twins.
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) All governments must surrender to us (X) and Cobra by the end of the day, (T) or we shall intensify the strength of the Pyramid of Darkness.
ACE
Looks like Cobra Commander's havin' a little power failure of his own.
GUNG-HO
We've got less than seven hours.
ACE
What's that noise?
WILD BILL
Sounds like my pappy's ranch at feedin' time.
GUNG-HO
Open the door and give our visitors the famous Joe welcome.
GUNG-HO
We're saved guys! It's the cow cavalry!
WILD BILL
We thought you were done for!
STALKER
If you had to play cowboys and Cobras, couldn't you have done it on horses?
SHIPWRECK
Very hilarious, but when we hit the Pyramid of Darkness, we had to improvise. Do us a favor, Wild Bill. Milk our ponies and bring us a glass.
WILD BILL
Huh?
GUNG-HO
I'll get you both a drink if you've got somethin' for us.
SHIPWRECK
We got a laser disc from a Cobra factory.
GUNG-HO
How do you play a laser disc with candle power?
EXT. SPACE - SPACE STATION DELTA
TOMAX AND XAMOT (V.O.)
All life forms will perish.
INT. SPACE STATION DELTA - CONTROL ROOM
TOMAX AND XAMOT (CONT.)
You have only until the end of this day to respond.
TORCH
Bravo! Bravo! It's even better in rerun. Want to see it again?
ZARTAN
Under no circumstances.
TORCH
You don't seem so confident without your precious whistle. Take him away!
MUTT
Dusty, we've got to get control of these Fatal Fluffies.
FATAL FLUFFY
No talking!
TORCH
Well, well. Lyin' down on the job again, are you? Get back in line!
MUTT
The whistle that controls the Fatal Fluffies--Torch has it around his neck. (to Junkyard) See that whistle, Junkyard? Go fetch it!
TORCH
No!
MUTT
Good boy, Junk!
TORCH
Get that whistle!
FATAL FLUFFIES
Roar!, Grr!, Die!, Move! Move or be punished!, etc.
DUSTY
The Fatal Fluffies are goin' crazy!
JOES
Yo Joe!
TORCH
Don't hurt us! It was all Zartan's fault! We was always nice to you, wasn't we?
DUKE
Way to go, guys. Now let's put some yo back in Joe!
EXT. SPACE - SPACE STATION DELTA
DUSTY (V.O.)
Yo Joe!
EXT. WILDERNESS - EDGE OF PYRAMID
QUICK KICK (O.C.)
I don't think I'm gonna love this part of the picture.
ALPINE (O.C.)
We're losin' power!
QUICK KICK
Get ready to jump!
ALPINE
It's not the jumpin' that worries me. It's the...
BAZOOKA
...landing.
ALPINE
Hey, I distinctly hear the gentle sound of the tables turning.
QUICK KICK
Yeah! Let the sunshine in!
EXT. HIDDEN COBRA BASE - DAY
INT. COBRA BASE - CONTROL ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Calamity most foul! Aghhh! No! No! No! Your selfish bungling has permitted the Joes to undo my exquisite Pyramid of Darkness! You twin twerps! I'm back in command now.
COBRA COMMANDER
Come in, Destro, come in!
COBRA COMMANDER
Stop that, Destro! I see you both clearly and I am stunned!
DESTRO
She, uh, she had something in her eye, Cobra Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER
My eye, she did! Now stop going ga-ga and establish a low-altitude Pyramid of Darkness at once!
DESTRO
As you order, Cobra Commander. Cobra!
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) Excellency, we must also take precautions to guard (X) Cobra Temple (T and X) from a sneak attack.
COBRA COMMANDER
Balderdash! This temple is in no danger, because nobody knows where it is. Now get out of my sight!
EXT. USS FLAGG - DAY
FLINT
We've got to treat this as a temporary victory only, unless you guys at Headquarters have something to make it a little more permanent.
SHIPWRECK
This laser disc Snake-Eyes and I borrowed from Cobra has info on the control cubes. Now that we've got power, I can spin this platter. Let's hope it's a hit. I'll patch the computer's image directly to you, Flint.
COMPUTER
Plans and structural elements of robotic self-defense mechanisms. Details of longitudinal alignments systems.
LADY JAYE
Skip past the general diagrams. What we need to know is whether those cubes are vulnerable.
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
SHIPWRECK
You got it, Lady.
COMPUTER
...self-destruct mechanism.
SHIPWRECK
Bingo! It's in Cobra Temple.
GUNG-HO
Now all we've gotta do is find that house of serpents before it's too...late.
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - DAY
EXT. USS FLAGG
FLINT
Adm. Ledger, Cobra's rebuilt the Pyramid of Darkness.
EXT. MOUNTAIN PEAK
DESTRO
This low-altitude Pyramid of Darkness will give us the time we need to destroy G. I. Joe.
INT. COBRA BASE - CONTROL ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Excellent, Destro. Then we shall win after all! The world will be ours!
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS
QUICK KICK
Here we go again!
ALPINE
Headquarters! Bail out!
BAZOOKA
Too late!
ALPINE
Hold on!
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
SHIPWRECK
A Cobra copter!
ALPINE
Sorry to drop in unannounced, but we just happened to fall by the neighborhood.
SHIPWRECK
Well, don't keep us in suspense, Alpine. Why'd you treat us to this open house, and who's the barefooted stranger?
ALPINE
Introducing star of stage and screen, Quick Kick, stuntman extraordinaire.
QUICK KICK
Let me give 'em a quick update. ImetthesetwoguysontheMountainofGlass theywereinrealhotwateroutthereinthecoldbutidrewemaway fromsomeleopardsealssowehitchedaride withMajorBluddtoCobraTempleunderthefallsbutwe...
SHIPWRECK
Hold it! Hold it! Uh, rewind that part about the Cobra Temple.
QUICK KICK
Ewtubsllafehtrednuelpmetarboc otddulbraojamhtiwediradehctihew... I said, Major Bludd gave us a ride to Cobra Temple, but we....
GUNG-HO
You know where Cobra Temple is?
QUICK KICK
Sure. Doesn't everybody?
SHIPWRECK
This is the info we've been waitin' for!
GUNG-HO
The darkness isn't holding.
SHIPWRECK
Then get on the horn and see if you can contact Flint. There's a crack in the Cobra curtain, and we're goin' through it.
JOES
Yo Joe!, Let's go!, etc.
EXT. HIDDEN COBRA BASE - DAY
INT. COBRA BASE - CONTROL ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Stabilize the Pyramid! What's taking you so long, Destro? This flickering is intolerable! G. I. Joe must be deprived of energy until we can launch our attack!
EXT. JUNGLE
SHIPWRECK
Come on! We've got just enough power! Keep movin'!
INT. COBRA BASE - CONTROL ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Cobra soldiers, forward to victory!
EXT. HIDDEN COBRA BASE
COBRAS
Cobra!
COBRA OFFICER
Impossible.
SHIPWRECK
We'll be outta this darkness in a flash! Then, hammer through that temple and put those cubes out of action!
JOES
Yo Joe!
COBRA COMMANDER
G. I. Joe? But how? Take defensive positions, and fight the enemy to oblivion!
COBRA COMMANDER
Unleash the Cobra Dragon! Terminate the Joes!
SHIPWRECK
No strength!
ROADBLOCK
Got to fight...fight...got to...
COBRA COMMANDER
We've won! Won! Won! Wait until the Cobra Dragon is finished with them. Then clean up the mess. I'll be inside writing my victory speech.
ALPINE
Any suggestion?
BAZOOKA
Yodel?
ALPINE
You gotta be kiddin'!
QUICK KICK
Wait! I got an idea!
QUICK KICK
Now yodel.
ALPINE
This is ridiculous.
QUICK KICK
Come on, let's try it.
XAMOT
Look out!
SHIPWRECK
Alpine and his yodeling yokels did it!
JOES
Yo Joe!, Let's go!, Come on!, etc.
INT. COBRA BASE
COBRA COMMANDER
What is happening?
COBRA COMMANDER
Stand and fight, you cowards!
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(X) We are bankrupt here! (T) But elsewhere we have prepared a fine surprise for the Joes!
COBRA COMMANDER
What do you mean surprise? Why am I always the last one to know?
INT. COBRA BASE - CONTROL ROOM
SHIPWRECK
We've got to find the self-destruct mechanism for the cubes! But, where is it?
SHIPWRECK
Polly, you're allowance just went up ten crackers a week!
EXT. MOUNTAIN PEAK
BARONESS
Something's happening!
DESTRO
Brilliant deduction, Baroness!
BARONESS
Don't become hostile with me! We have a relationship!
DESTRO
Silence, woman! I'm losing Pyramid control!
DESTRO
It's self-destructing!
INT. RATTLER COCKPIT
COBRA COMMANDER
I lost my cubes! My wonderful cubes! All gone! Now I'll never rule the world! I hate this job!
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(X) Sensors indicate G. I. Joe is pursuing us. (T) But that's impossible, (T and X) absolutely impossible!
COBRA COMMANDER
Well, somebody forget to tell them!
EXT. USS FLAGG
ADM. LEDGER
Ready on flight deck?
JOES
Yo Joe!
XAMOT
We must get to the Enterprise Towers!
COBRA COMMANDER
Yes! Yes, hurry!
EXT. ENTERPRISE CITY
FLINT
Looks like Cobra's hunting for a nest, Lady Jaye. Let's make sure they don't get too comfortable.
LADY JAYE
I'm right behind you!
LADY JAYE
Yo Joe!
FLINT
All attack groups, this is Joe Leader. Proceed to Enterprise Towers.
INT. ENTERPRISE TOWERS - HANGAR
COBRA COMMANDER
Stop! Our position is deteriorating! Will you acknowledge me? We must flee and save ourselves!
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) Relax. (X) We need not retreat. (T) We shall soon activate a weapon which (X) will destroy our enemies (T and X) completely.
COBRA COMMANDER
Weapon?
EXT. ENTERPRISE TOWERS
SHIPWRECK
Enterprise Towers! They're transforming into a gantry and battle rocket! If that ship ever gets up, no force on earth will be able to handle it! We've got to keep it from reaching space.
INT. ROCKET - COCKPIT
COBRA COMMANDER
Brilliant! This huge rocket is invincible! The last laugh shall indeed be best!
EXT. ROCKET
SHIPWRECK
Satin!
SATIN [Ketty Lester]
Need a lift?
EXT. SPACE - SPACE STATION DELTA
FLINT (V.O.)
Station Delta, do you see Battle Bird preparing to lift off?
INT. SPACE STATION DELTA - CONTROL ROOM
DUSTY
We see it, and we don't like it. Duke and the rest of the guys are riggin' a proton beam strong enough to take it out, but they'll need more time.
INT. SPACE STATION DELTA - CELL
RIPPER
We didn't mean to double-cross you, Zartan.
TORCH
No, never! Nay, nicht, nein, no!
BUZZER
It was those scuzzy wuzzies. They intimidated us!
BUZZER
Oh, thank you, Zartan! Thank you!
ZARTAN
Oh, get up! Get up, you treacherous toadbellies! If Cobra loses, I alone shall seize the reins of power. And I'll need stooges to do my bidding, even second-rate stooges like you. Now, let's get out of here before we're discovered.
TORCH
Oh, you won't regret this.
BUZZER
Right. We love bein' your stooges.
INT. ROCKET - ELEVATOR
SATIN
Ready? We're nearing the upper level.
INT. ROCKET - COCKPIT
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) Increasing thrust. (X) Liftoff in ten seconds... (T and X) nine...eight...seven...
SATIN
It's now or never, guys. Yo Joe!
SHIPWRECK
Yeah, right. Yo Joe!
SATIN
This is for messin' with my father!
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) G. I. Joe has caught up! (X) Destroy them, brother!
SHIPWRECK
Oh, brother yourself!
SATIN
Hey, steel face is shortin' out his own rocket ship!
EXT. ROCKET (O.C.)
FLINT
Shipwreck, Duke's just about ready for that proton beam, so get outta there and don't drag anchor.
INT. ROCKET - COCKPIT
SHIPWRECK
I suppose this is a bad time to ask you to go out with me?
COBRA COMMANDER
Help, you fools! My face is magnetized to the controls!
EXT. ROCKET
POLLY
Polly wants flight insurance!
INT. ROCKET - COCKPIT
COBRA COMMANDER
I wish you were triplets so I could hit three of you!
EXT. SPACE - EARTH ORBIT
COBRA COMMANDER (CONT., O.C.)
In competent, idiotic, fatheaded nincompoops!
EXT. SPACE - SPACE STATION DELTA
INT. SPACE STATION DELTA - GARBAGE DISPOSAL
ZARTAN
Get in here! Jettison now, before they fire!
EXT. SPACE - SPACE STATION DELTA
TORCH
Zartan, you put us in the garbage module!
INT. GARBAGE MODULE
TORCH
We'll get you for this, Zartan!
INT. SPACE STATION DELTA - CONTROL ROOM
DUKE
Proton beam is up to speed. Lock on coordinates. Fire!
INT. ROCKET - ESCAPE POD
TOMAX
Hurry, no time left!
EXT. SPACE - ROCKET
JOES (in various locations)
Yay!, Yo Joe!, etc.
EXT. ENTERPRISE CITY
SATIN
Yo, Shipwreck!
POLLY
Polly, too! Polly, too!
SHIPWRECK
Cool it, bird. Shipwreck works alone.
INT. SUBWAY CAR
COBRA COMMANDER
Your interference cost me victory!
TOMAX AND XAMOT
We should have taken control sooner.
DESTRO
Your vain denseness destroyed our tactical advantage!
BARONESS
I had everything under control until you imbeciles got pretentious!
COBRA COMMANDER
You pea-brained carbon copies of identical dumbells! You're responible!
EXT. SUBWAY CAR
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) Your fault! (X) His fault!
(T) Your fault! (X) His fault!
(T) Your fault! (X) His fault!
EXT. ENTERPRISE CITY
FLINT
Well, Lady Jaye, looks like we won.
LADY JAYE
Right, but now what do we do for thrills and chills?
