Haven't you heard? Diamonds are a guy's best friend.
FLINT
But time is nobody's friend as long as Zartan has the last piece of Cobra's weather control weapon. Regroup back at Headquarters. Yo Joe!
JOES
Yo Joe!
EXT. BAYOU WORLD PARK
INT. BAYOU WORLD PARK - CONTROL ROOM
ZARTAN
I adore seeing a scheme come together. It's so...stimulating. Now, I shall raise our broadcast transmitter and inform both Cobra and G. I. Joe of our modest demands.
TORCH
The man said modest!
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMUNICATIONS CENTER
ZARTAN
Good afternoon, honored associates. As you already know, I possess the third and most powerful fragment of the Weather Dominator. G. I. Joe, you have one fragment, but it has little value apart from the other two components.
DOC
Bingo. Zartan's in bayou country. Come in, Flint.
EXT. SKY - DAY
DOC (COMM.)
We've traced Zartan to the swamps.
FLINT
Roger, base. Yo Joe!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
ZARTAN
And Cobra, you are also the proud possessor of one fragment--it, too, equally useless. Therefore one of you, the more intelligent one actually, will quickly pay my price, and then with one viable components, will then construct the third...or steal it back from your adversary, and win the day.
COBRA COMMANDER
I have him. I have him! Come in, Destro.
EXT. SKY - DUSK
COBRA COMMANDER (COMM.)
Change course at once for the bayou. That abominable wretch, Zartan, has gone home to roost. Deal with him at once!
DESTRO
Cobra!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
The final resolution is in motion. And now, I must do the one thing I despise: I must wait!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - ARENA OF SPORT
DUKE
We can't hold 'em off for long!
ROADBLOCK
I don't want to be gobbled by some short circuit!
DUKE
Short circuit, that's it. We've got to reverse the polarity. Honda Lou, ready for a ride?
HONDA LOU
Just say gidday-up
DUKE
Ready? One, two, three!
DUKE
Bend the pole into the one beside it, but don't get caught between them!
ROADBLOCK
Don't they...feed these turkeys?
DUKE
It's about time Cobra had its fangs yanked.
DUKE, ROADBLOCK, AND HONDA LOU
Yo Joe!
INT. BAYOU WORLD PARK - CONTROL ROOM
ZARTAN
What's this? Readings indicate two large fighting forces have homed in on us. It must be G. I. Joe and Cobra. Very well. Take your positions!
ZARTAN
We shall give them an unexpected education in the art of warfare.
EXT. SKY - ABOVE BAYOU WORLD PARK
FLINT
Try to maintain formation. This weather has turned the jet stream into a wind tunnel! Rip Cord, how's it going on your end?
RIP CORD
We're over the target area now.
FLINT
Good hunting, Rip Cord. Breaker, we'll join you as soon as the jet stream calms down.
RIP CORD
He can't hear you!
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
SHORT-FUZE
You hear anything?
ZAP
Nothing.
SHORT-FUZE
Neither do I. That's what bothers me.
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - HOLDING AREA
GREENSHIRT
Halt!
GREENSHIRT
Sleeping gas!
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
SHORT-FUZE
You guys might think I'm bananas or somethin', but....
ZAP
We know you're bananas, Short-Fuze. What's on your mind?
SHORT-FUZE
Couple o' minutes ago when I didn't hear anything?
ZAP
Yeah?
SHORT-FUZE
I ain't hearin' it again. I gotta check it out.
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - HOLDING AREA
SHORT-FUZE
Call it intuition, I don't know, but I... the fragment's gone!
EXT. BAYOU WORLD PARK - NIGHT
BREAKER
Let's play commando, man.
DESTRO
Now, let Zartan taste the bitter fruits of vengeance. Cobra!
DESTRO
There is no answer in the garage. No response from Zartan at all.
ZARTAN
Patience, Destro, patience.
DESTRO
Break your unit into several combat teams. If retaliation is forthcoming, we don't want to present too large a target. That is all....
DESTRO
Kiddie cars? Is this the contempt in which Zartan holds me?
TORCH
All right, boys. Now!
DESTRO
It's an ambush!
RIPPER
All right!
DREADNOKS
Yeow!, Run for it!, Move it!, etc.
MAJ. BLUDD
Press forward! Cobra!
RIP CORD
Ready, Breaker?
BREAKER
Do the honors.
TORCH
Zartan, we're takin' a beatin'! It's time to get us outta here!
RIP CORD
We've pinpointed Zartan's control room! Over there!
FLINT
Then what are we waitin' for? Yo Joe!
INT. BAYOU WORLD PARK - CONTROL ROOM
FLINT
Zartan's gone!
LADY JAYE
And so's the last fragment of the Weather Dominator!
FLINT
I have a feeling things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better.
EXT. BAYOU WORLD PARK - DOCK
DESTRO
Quickly, quickly! Over there!
DESTRO
Zartan, you thieving turncoat!
ZARTAN
Wait! Would you mistreat a prisoner who surrendered willingly, and offered a prize? The final piece of your Weather Dominator, Destro.
DESTRO
Remove him.
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CORRIDOR
ROADBLOCK
This place has more twists than a pretzel factory with the bends.
DUKE
Cobra at either end. We just ran out of options.
DUKE
Good thinking, Honda Lou!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - DRAINPIPE
DUKE
This homing device will tell our guys where to find us. And while they're comin' in...
ROADBLOCK
We'll go out and crunch a couple o' Cobras.
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - OVERCAST
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
FLINT
It's Duke's personal distress signal. Fix coordinates on that beeper.
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - HANGAR
FLINT
We've got Cobra made, and we're gonna come down hard. Yo Joe!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
DESTRO
We have the laser core, Commander. Now, what punishment shall we administer to this turncoat?
COBRA COMMANDER
Punishment? Punishment is a price for failure, and we have not failed. Rise, Zartan.
DESTRO
But he stole the laser core!
COBRA COMMANDER
Which I now have, as well as the other two fragments.
DESTRO
But he must be dealt with!
COBRA COMMANDER
He has been. I forgive him. Now stop sputtering like a wet toaster, and get busy! When the Dominator is operational again, we shall seize control of the world! And this time, none shall oppose us! COBRA!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - STORAGE
HONDA LOU
Howdy, handsome. You work here all the time?
COBRA OFFICER
You better have a pass, kid.
HONDA LOU
Oh, I do, and here it is, sugar!
DUKE
Uh, this is no time for gardening, Roadblock.
ROADBLOCK
Man, where these scrawny vines are concerned, I am a man with a big green thumb, and I'm gonna stick that thumb right in Cobra's nose.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
FLINT
There's the snake house we've been looking for. Yo Joe!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
The enemy is upon our gates! Concentrate all power for the defense of Cobra Temple!
DESTRO
We are almost at optimum capacity.
COBRA COMMANDER
Hurry up, Destro.
DESTRO
No force on earth is a match for nature gone mad!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
GUNG-HO
Yo Joe! Hold it, what the heck is that?
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
The poor Joes are too hot, Destro. Cool them down at once.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - WEATHER DOMINATOR
DESTRO
With pleasure, Commander.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - SNOWSTORM
FLINT
We're losing altitude! Can't control it! Ship's too heavy from ice and snow buildup!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
Our friends are coming to a standstill, Destro. They need something to spark them up.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - WEATHER DOMINATOR
DESTRO
I know just the thing, Commander.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
FLINT
Hang on!
FLINT
We're still airborne and ready to fight. Yo Joe!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - WEATHER DOMINATOR
DESTRO
They shall pay for that!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - OVERCAST
SHIPWRECK
Shocking experience, mates. I think my bridge work melted.
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
Spare nothing now, Destro. The end is in sight, and we have won!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - WEATHER DOMINATOR
DESTRO
This final burst will annihilate them forever!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
ROADBLOCK
Wrong again, junk jaw.
COBRA COMMANDER
Stop them! They've got the vines!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - WEATHER DOMINATOR
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
GUNG-HO
We've got a clear shot at 'em! Yo Joe!
SCARLETT
We've got 'em cold!
MAJ. BLUDD
Retreat! Retreat!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CARGO ENTRANCE
BARONESS
We can't stop them! Lower the Temple! Lower the Temple!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
FLINT
They're tryin' to take her down. Let's beat 'em to it!
JOES
Yo Joe!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
DUKE
Flint! Man, you're almost a sight for sore eyes.
GUNG-HO
Looks like you blew it again, fang face.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
DESTRO
A battle lost, but not the war. I shall make G. I. Joe rue this day if it takes me a thousand years.
DESTRO
Zartan!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - COMMAND CENTER
COBRA COMMANDER
You haven't defeated me! I only bow for this moment, but I shall return!
ROADBLOCK
We beatcha Cobra, right down to the sand.
DUKE
There's still the little matter of the crazy weather around the world.
