No point...neither side'll ever win! Gonna quit G. I. Joe!
GRUNT (O.C.)
Steeler? Hey, Steeler!
GRUNT
You must be sick, out o' your head, ol' buddy, to go runnin' off like that.
STEELER
No!
GRUNT
Come back here!
INT. BARONESS' HIDEOUT
LEILA
The one you call Steeler. He's delirious with fever. Symptoms would indicate Strain D bacterial infection, Mistress.
BARONESS
Then he was bitten, no doubt, by one of the mutant insects Destro breeds on the proving grounds. He'll need help. You know what to do, Leila.
LEILA
As you command, Baroness.
EXT. IMPERIAL POLICE HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
INT. IMPERIAL POLICE HEADQUARTERS
ZARTAN
You fools! And then you captured three surviving members of the Joe Team and allowed them to escape?
BUZZER
It weren't our fault, Zartan!
TORCH
They hadn't an ounce o' respect for the law!
ZARTAN
Never mind, it doesn't matter. They won't get far. I'll see to that.
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
AVAC [Neil Ross?]
Air patrol leader to Destro.
INT. CAPITOL BUILDING
DESTRO
Destro here.
AVAC
We've got the Joes right where you want 'em, sir.
DESTRO
Coordinates, quickly!
AVAC
Eleven degrees North by forty East.
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
FOOTLOOSE (COMM.)
Lady Jaye, that glowin' red stuff, what is it?
LADY JAYE
Some kind of netting!
CLUTCH (COMM.)
But it's made of energy!
LADY JAYE
Blast through it. Laser cannons.
CLUTCH
No go, Lady Jaye. Their power's been drained!
FOOTLOOSE
Mine too.
DESTRO (COMM.)
But of course!
INT. CAPITOL BUILDING
DESTRO (CONT.)
Why else would we call this weapon the Parasite Matrix?
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
LADY JAYE
Clutch, Footloose, bail out!
CLUTCH
Can't! We're stuck!
LADY JAYE
Then shoot your way out!
LADY JAYE
Even laser pistols?
FOOTLOOSE
Dead as the cannons!
CLUTCH
Cobra's puttin' the squeeze on us!
FOOTLOOSE
We'll be crushed!
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NATIONAL MALL
COBRA
Faster, or you'll do without your morning rations!
FLINT
They've turned the Washington Mall into a slave labor camp!
BARBECUE
Heck of a way to solve unemployment.
FLINT
Here comes our ticket to ride.
AIRTIGHT
Dreadnoks may be cops in this world, but they're still stupid.
AIRTIGHT
I don't believe they let us get away with this!
COBRA [Arthur Burghardt?]
You are under arrest! Throw down your weapons! Surrender at once or be destroyed!
BARBECUE
Look!
BARBECUE
Incoming!
FLINT
Airtight, Barbecue over here!
EXT. WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
INT. WHITE HOUSE - HALLWAY
COBRA
The prisoners are in Interrogation Room Twelve, Your Highness.
COBRA COMMANDER
And Destro is unaware that you turned them over to me?
COBRA
He's occupied with other business, Your Highness.
COBRA COMMANDER
Excellent. Dismissed.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - INTERROGATION ROOM 12
COBRA COMMANDER
Welcome back from the dead, G. I. Joes. Tell me, where have you been hiding?
LADY JAYE
You don't understand. We're not who you think we...
COBRA COMMANDER
No lies! No evasions! Speak, or my Centrifugal Persuader will rattle the answers from you.
COBRA COMMANDER
At first, you will simply feel dizziness and the pressure slowly building, but as you spin faster, the pressure will increase until it crushes you to a pulp!
EXT. PROVING GROUNDS - NIGHT
GRUNT
Steeler, come back here!
STEELER
G...Grunt?
GRUNT
Stay there, buddy. Don't move!
STEELER
No! No!
STEELER
Wh...what's wrong with me?
GRUNT
You're sick. You were delirious.
GRUNT
It looks like a knocked some sense into you.
STEELER
Help...me...Grunt! Please!
GRUNT
Easy does it, now. You're gonna be all right.
GRUNT
Mother of mercy! They're...they're Joes!
GRUNT
Poor devils, they must've got caught in one of Cobra's weapons tests.
GRUNT
Steinberg, L.? That's Clutch's name!
GRUNT
Graves, R. W.?
STEELER
Graves? That's you, Grunt!
GRUNT
Yeah, well, I know I ain't dead. Hey, these guys musta been the Joe Team from this world. Yeah. That's it!
STEELER
That one! Who's that one?
STEELER
Pulaski. It's me. Me!
GRUNT
Look, whoever you are....
LEILA
Don't be afraid. Neither you nor your friend will be harmed.
GRUNT
You expect us to believe that?
LEILA
You must come with us so the Baroness can treat your friend for his fever.
GRUNT
The Baroness?
INT. WHITE HOUSE - INTERROGATION ROOM 12
COBRA COMMANDER
Your lies will cost you dearly. You are plotting treason against the Cobra Empire, aren't you!
COBRA COMMANDER
You're going to provide me with some sport, a little game whose stakes are life and death!
COBRA COMMANDER
Prepare yourselves, Joes, for the ultimate adventure!
INT. BARONESS' HIDEOUT
GRUNT
Easy, buddy. Give the medication time to work.
STEELER
We're in...another world, you said.
GRUNT
Uh-huh. And it looks like this Baroness thinks you're the Steeler of this world. And that's not all. She....
LEILA
Come. The Baroness and her beloved will want to be alone.
BARONESS
Oh, Steeler! Steeler! I thought I'd never see you again! I was told you were dead! Oh, darling!
STEELER
But...but you are one of them...C-Cobra! Aren't you?
BARONESS
How can you say that? You know whose side I'm really on. Oh, of course, amnesia! It's also a symptom of D bacterial infection.
STEELER
You mean you're like a...a double agent.
STEELER
You secretly work for...the resistance?
STEELER
You'd better get my friend in here. I'm confused.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - INTERROGATION ROOM 12
LADY JAYE
You...must believe us, Commander!
FOOTLOOSE
We're not from this world!
COBRA COMMANDER
Do you think me foolish enough to believe such poppycock? For that insult, you will pay...
COBRA COMMANDER
...with your lives!
FOOTLOOSE
Robot snakes?
COBRA COMMANDER
Specifically, boa constrictors, to squeeze the very life from you!
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
FLINT
Hang on, gentlemen! I think we'll make it outta this place!
BARBECUE
I'm hangin', I'm hangin'!
AIRTIGHT
I can't wait to see the others! And I'd kinda like to be alive at the time!
BARBECUE
Yahoo! Looks like we are gonna make it!
BARBECUE
Then again, what do I know?
AVAC
Air patrol leader to Destro! Rebels sighted!
DESTRO (COMM.)
I'm tracking them already, patrol leader.
BARBECUE
Oh, no!
FLINT
Trapped like bugs on fly paper!
INT. WHITE HOUSE - INTERROGATION ROOM 12
COBRA OFFICER [Chris Latta]
Commander, a message!
LADY JAYE
Footloose, now! While he's distracted!
COBRA COMMANDER
What? According to my spies, Destro's captured more G. I. Joes, and again he tries to conceal it from me!
COBRA COMMANDER
Get out of here! What?
COBRA COMMANDER
No! No!
CLUTCH
These manacle gizmos must've shorted out, too!
LADY JAYE
Talk about luck!
LADY JAYE
Quick, find some weapons and let's get outta here!
INT. BARONESS' HIDEOUT
BARONESS
Another world? Are you both mad?
STEELER
Hey, we know it sounds nuts, but....
BARONESS
Wait a minute. Steeler--my Steeler--has a tattoo on his right arm, not his left.
GRUNT
And...we're pretty sure your Steeler really is dead.
BARONESS
Oh...no!
GRUNT
I'm sorry.
BARONESS
Then this fantastic tale...is true? You're really not resistance fighters like me?
GRUNT
Lady, all we're fightin' for now is to find our buddies and go back where we belong.
BARONESS
Then, you'll have to play along with me. Come.
GRUNT
Well, don't just stand there. Follow the lady.
INT. CAPITOL BUILDING - NIGHT
COBRA
Destro, sir, those three Joes have just been captured by the matrix, sir.
DESTRO
And?
COBRA
And they are about to be delivered.
DESTRO
How fortuitous!
DESTRO
Ah, Flint, Barbecue, and Airtight, isn't it? Welcome!
BARBECUE
If he'd known we were comin', he'd've baked a cake.
AIRTIGHT
And left room for us in the oven.
DESTRO
More G. I. Joes?
BARONESS
Defectors, Destro, to our side.
DESTRO
Ours as in Cobra's?
BARONESS
Ours as in yours and mine.
GRUNT
Face it, Des, Cobra Commander's tired of sharin' the throne with you. He's buildin' his own army to knock you outta the box. We'd have defected to his team, but the Baroness won us over.
DESTRO
His own army? We shall see about that! Tend to these prisoners, Baroness!
BARONESS
I will, Destro.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - INTERROGATION ROOM 12
COBRA COMMANDER
Where am I?
BARONESS (COMM.)
Baroness, calling his highness, the Emperor. Come in, Sire.
COBRA COMMANDER
Yes, now what?
BARONESS
You must act quickly, Sire. Destro is moving to unseat you and claim sole power for himself.
COBRA COMMANDER
Oh, is that so?
EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAWN
FOOTLOOSE
Okay, we're out. Now where to?
LADY JAYE
Good question.
BARONESS
Lady Jaye, over here!
FLINT
Hop on! I'll explain everything on the way to the proving grounds!
FLINT
Uh-oh. What's goin' on over there?
BARONESS
I've just instigated the first Cobra civil war, and I don't want a ringside seat for my handiwork.
EXT. PROVING GROUNDS - SUNSET
LADY JAYE
This is where we arrived, so the gateway to our dimension should be around here somewhere.
FLINT
Look. There it is. Come on, let's go home.
STEELER
Well, Baroness, uh....
BARONESS
So, I'm going to lose you twice.
STEELER
You know, there's really no one waiting for me back there.
FLINT
Okay, let's move it.
STEELER
Flint, it really does matter whether Cobra wins or loses. I see that now, and I want a chance to do somethin' about it. I'm stayin' here.
GRUNT
Well, count me in, too, old buddy. I ain't lettin' you hog all the glory.
CLUTCH
Uh, Flint, I heard what they did to me--I mean, the other Clutch.
FLINT
And you want to stay, too?
CLUTCH
It'll be a challenge, rebuildin' G. I. Joe here.
FLINT
You know you may never be able to go home.
LADY JAYE
Flint, the portal is closing!
FLINT
Lady Jaye, jump for it!
CLUTCH
So long!
EXT. FOREST - RIVER
DOC
It's hopeless, Duke. We're not gonna find 'em...alive, at any rate.
DUKE
Look!
FLINT
Yo Duke!
BARBECUE
Hiya, Doc!
DUKE
You're back...but from where?
FLINT
It's a long story.
DOC
Where are the others? Clutch, Grunt, and Steeler?
LADY JAYE
That's an even longer story. They're somewhere where brave men are needed...badly.
